Upset and shutting down...not a good thing.

Every time I start to feel good, be cheerful, get a step ahead, decide I'm going to work on an area of the house or my life that needs tending, something else goes critical and sends me two or three steps back.

I need to deal with some things in the basement, so we can call a plumber, and get the sewer line cleared.  But, instead of dealing with it, because I just get so frustrated and tired before I even start, I'm here on the computer.

I really need to get myself motivated to deal with stuff.  I just get thinking about what needs doing, then I consider the best way to start/move forward, and then I get exhausted because I feel like it is all a waste of time...  For example -

I've often posted about my commitment to the environment.  But where I have trouble is drawing the line between the environment in general and my environment.

I keep jars.  I was worried at one point that I was overdoing it, maybe "hoarding" jars.  So, I stopped saving all jars, and only saved a few that I knew were a good size and sealed well.  I found myself in a situation of needing to buy new sealer jars for some jam I made.  I realized that new jars aren't that terribly expensive.  I looked at some of the old jars I had in the basement, some with dust and spiders, others with left-over vinegar/pickle juice in them.  I thought about the work to clean vs. cost to buy  new.  The ones that weren't too dirty, I packed up with lids, and sent to a thrift store.  The mismatched and too dirty, I offered up on Freecycle, pointing out they were incomplete or needed washing.  The simple fact is, if I have to go to any trouble to make these jars clean for someone else (despite my desire to help the charities running the thrift stores) I am not going to bother, I'd rather blue-box them for recycling.  The thing is, a lot of these sealer jars are fine, just dirty, so I would feel somewhat guilty tossing them.  But, if I hang onto them long enough to find and match up all lids, or have to spend the extra time washing them, I'm going to run out of storage room, energy, etc.  It is even a hit or miss on Freecycle - I still could have to keep the box around under foot for up to a week... or more - if no one takes, then I'm  back to square one, of having these jars around.

So, I feel like I'm caught in an unending loop of what to do, and end up sitting here at the computer, feeling frustrated and exhausted and ready to cry.

Melt down.

And it doesn't help that last night, I got three whole rows done - one a reknit, two new rows, then the next row - I got it unknit about halfway before I put it down and decided to wait till tonight, instead of getting frustrated yet again with the lack of progress on the shawl.

I so feel like I can't move forward at all.

And then there is the vehicle problem - I'm supposed to go for my hair cut tomorrow, as well as my chiropractor, and shopping for the week, and I have some library books to take in/pick up... And I guess I need to take in the vehicle to find out what is wrong with it, and hope it isn't a major expense... In other words, I guess I need to phone and postpone my appointments, have to walk to the library (hope it is fairly warm and not windy tomorrow) and cross my fingers I have enough time later in the day to do the shopping... I don't want to go out shopping, only to have the thing not start, and have to call a tow-truck.  Not that I don't have the tow-truck driver we used programmed into my cell phone.... :P

Well, like it or not, I have to get off my butt and deal with the basement today... and when I have a few moments tomorrow... and every day until either next laundry day (when the volume of water from the washing machine overwhelms the sewer again) or until the sewer line totally plugs and backs up when we flush.  :(  Then I call the plumber, and get it dealt with.  Recurring problem every couple years - I hate that tree in front of the house.  Always have....